Chaos Within

Anxiety is present every single day of my life. It is ignited when certain situations arise. I am constantly fearful. Fear of stepping into a room filled with people. Fear of public speaking. Fear of being late. Fear of failure. Fear of disappointing. It fills my body, causes me to shake, breath heavily, constantly over-think, and hide.

Within it is a constant battle between happiness and fear.

Being abroad in brand new environments, worsens and alleviates my anxiety. Every single day, I have to conquer the chaos within. From traveling different places, meeting new people, experiencing new cultures, and living away from home has demonstrated to me that anxiety and fear will always be present in my life. Ultimately, it comes down to how to react to it.

Anxiety comes and goes depending on the situation. A few days ago, I traveled to Ireland and went to the Cliffs of Moher. I was walking along the edge of the cliffs, the roar of the waves were crashing against the rocks, and the extreme winds ran through my brown hair. I was terrified but exhilarated at the same time. My feet were exactly three inches away from the 700 foot cliff! The depths of the beauty surrounding me was a distraction from the anxiety.


Anxiety is an issue that is underneath the surface. It is unspoken and unnoticed within our society. The humans that suffer from anxiety are experts at hiding it. Many individuals perceive that it is easy to get rid of it or to suddenly stop it, but it is extremely difficult especially with anxiety attacks.

Fear and Anxiety disorders are the most prevalent disorders. Joseph Ledoux a Professor of Science at NYU, researched that it affects 20 percent of the population and $40 billion economic cost. These numbers are exceedingly high, exactly why anxiety needs to be addressed, better understood and respected.